Lockdown Drill

I can't go to sleep without a reflection.

We had our first lockdown drill after the shooting in Parkland.  Happened first thing in the morning.

My fourth grade Dewey Duty helpers were just figuring out their job assignments.  Who was picking up books?  Who was checking in the books? Who was going to pick up all our reading minutes that we are doing for the Ronald McDonald House?  I know it's March, but don't forget that Mrs. Ciampoli's books need to be checked in right away because her class will be up by 8:20. Oh yeah, and Kiley? Are you finishing up that welcome poster for James Preller?  The paint was a mess yesterday. Please use markers today. Thanks.

And then we heard the lockdown announcement.

I'll be right there.  Lock door #1. Where's Andrew?  There he is being swept into another classroom.  I hope my other book collectors on the first floor are ok.  Lock door #2.  Sprint to door #3 and lock it.  Then join the others.

Is this what happened at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School last month? Sniffle. Sniffle.

I started to weep.  Not so much that I think the girls noticed but I began to sniffle and my eyes were watering. I just wanted to protect them.  I wanted to keep these giggly, innocent 9 year olds safe and innocent forever. I wondered what was going through their heads.  How much did they know?  How much did it affect them.  Sniffle. Sniffle.

Ten, maybe fifteen, minutes later the drill was over.  We all stood up, about to get back to what we were doing.  Sniffle. Sniffle.

Wait. Stop.

I need a hug. We embraced.  A perfect group hug that would make anyone feel better.  We stood together long enough for their innocence, their youth, their love to break through my skin and wipe away my sadness. Thank you girls for giving me the strength to get through the day and move forward.

Now get back to work.

Sniffle. Sniffle.