Good Morning?
I didn’t sleep well. Again.
I wake up and can literally feel the sweat drip out of the pores on my legs. My mind races. My heart pounds. Surprisingly, I get enough REM time to dream. Last night, my daughter handed me the keys to the car but I didn’t know how to drive. And, for the second time in the past week, Obama appeared. The first time he was sitting cross legged and relaxed. I casually introduced him to someone as “Barack.” Not sure what he was doing in the wee hours of this morning. Working hard to turn this nightmare we’re living into science fiction?
My friends and colleagues aren’t sleeping either. One takes Tylenol PM every night. One swears by a special tea and bedtime ritual. I tried the tea. It worked one night. Maybe? Others commiserate. Is anyone truly sleeping soundly? The upside of all this? The Great Believers is over 600 pages long.
The fear of the unknown is taking over. What will my job as a school librarian look like? College is open for my incoming freshman. How will she make friends while smiling behind a mask? My High Schooler was disciplined during 14 weeks of spring virtual learning. Will he be as successful in another year of different learning? The only known factor in all of this is that we don’t know.
It’s almost August. Pre-Covid, my daughter would be working all summer at sleep away camp. She’d only be home for a few days before leaving for college to say goodbye to HS friends and to tirelessly shop for a comforter, towels, and mini-fridge. Since she is here, shouldn’t her room be overflowing with dorm supplies that we’ve had so much time to buy? It’s not. Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond have not taken a dime from me yet. I wonder how well she is sleeping.
Tonight I will brew some chamomile, do some deep breathing, read until the words get blurry and wish for the best. And Barack? If I see you again, may I request a soothing lullaby and your old promise of hope? Thanks in advance.












